free stats Carmen's Web: IT'S OVER!!!
Monday, June 27, 2005
I taught my last class today! I definitely didn't go out with a bang, but it's over!!!!

I was extremely nervous before teaching. Regardless of how many times I've done this over the past three weeks the butterflies continue to flutter in my stomach, I continue to sweat from every pore in my body, and my hands still shake when I'm writing on the board or handing out papers. Although I was prepared and 100% ready for today's lesson, I still couldn't keep myself from feeling sick.

And the class today was just REALLY resistant to working; it was like pulling teeth for the entire hour. We just had a three day weekend after all and I don't think any of them wanted to be there. Hell, I didn't even want to be there! The past three days were just so relaxing...starting work again was the last thing I wanted to do.

The students zoned out so many times that I was ready to just close my books and end the lesson early. They just weren't motivated, didn't seem to want to work. And, for the first time, the blame did not rest on me! My lesson was kick ass and I think if I had gotten them on another day we would've produced great work.

I sat down afterwards thinking that the lesson was just absolutely disastrous. And although I really did care about this lesson I was just so relieved that I didn't have to do this anymore. I know that teaching in the real world will also be stressful, but this whole experience was just really intense. Being observed is not pleasant matter. Regardless, I think I managed the classroom well and can say with certainty that I did more than my best.

It's over. I went into this submerged under water and now I've finally gotten some air and it feels great!
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 7:52 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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