My mother is very upset at the fact that I'm going to be moving out next month. I've been living at home for the past three years in order to save money so I can buy a place instead of renting. But after a year of active searching for the perfect home I've decided that enough is enough and I gotta get out. I have to move out by the first of August because if I don't do it then, I will never do it. I've got the first week of August off before I start taking intensive courses again and so it's the perfect time to move. Once I start my new job in September I know I'll be too busy and too stressed to look for a place.

So I told my mother this this afternoon and she was quite unhappy. She told me that I'd be throwing my money away by renting and I think was slightly offended that I'm in such a rush to move out. She may have a point. Logically speaking, it's much better that I remain at home and continue saving my money, but my sanity! My sanity has got to take precedence this time.

Toots told me to tell my mom that I'm NOT throwing money away on rent and suggested giving one of these justifications:

a) "I'm not paying rent. My pimp is putting me up for free"
b) "I'm not spending money on rent. I'm spending money on my sanity"
c) "Until you change your policy on orgies, I have to move out"
d) "It won't cost me anything. You guys, on the other hand..."
e) All of the above

I thought and thought and thought and finally decided on choice C. I'm not sure I want to be a prostitute (a), if I actually TELL her that I value my sanity (b) she'll get offended, and if I suggest that they pay my rent (d) I'll be given a dirty look. Plus, I knew that there was no way in hell she'd know what orgies were and, in order to try to get me to stay, might actually change her policy ;)

So I come home and bring up the discussion again with my mom, trying to convince her that I'm not running away from her and that it's just time for me to have my own place. You know, new job, new beginnings, etc. She's still being belligerent and so I tell her calmly, "You know what, I'll be honest. I know you hate orgies, but I really like them! And as long as I live here I know you won't let me have them, so that's why I need my own place".

She tried to read my face, probably hoping that the word "orgy" would be defined in my eyes or something, but to no avail. I had my serious face on.

"Khalas. You want to have orgies, you can have orgies. Will orgies make you happy?"

I started laughing, kissed her, told her that I am now VERY happy and will start on them tonight! Last I saw she was on the phone trying to call my brother to learn what orgies are :)