free stats Carmen's Web: Sick and Tired
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Sick and Tired
Brother, who's five months away from getting his medical degree, has just diagnosed me with anemia. A quick google search confirmed his assessment. Most of the symptoms are there (fatigue, shortness of breath, dizziness, headaches, **DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING**) and I've had a very pale complexion for the past month. Whatever. I'm still exotic (see post below).

I'm also convinced that I'm suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, as many commentators mentioned when I wrote about my depression. I've never had problems with winter before. I'm actually a winter baby and I've always loved the snow, the chill, the short days. I wait eagerly each year for the first snowflake to drop. New York City is also a lovely place to spend winter. There's always a lot to do.

I'm not sure why all of a sudden this year winter has taken its toll on me. I've managed to somewhat get out of the depression I slipped into, but I'm not totally there yet. The weakness I've been feeling from the anemia hasn't allowed me to do the things I enjoy doing during winter. I hate going out because it seems like such a struggle and I don't have the energy to do lots of walking. I can't hang out with friends because I can't seem to form coherent sentences. I can't find anything to say and I'm just TIRED to talk. The holiday gatherings have been tough on me because I don't have the physical ability to be social.

The boyfriend is the only one I've been able to hang out with because I don't have to talk with him. We don't have to catch up or make small talk. I can just sit there and ramble on without having to make sense. And the poor guy has had to put up with A LOT of nonsensical conversations.

Toots accused me of being withdrawn from myself not so long ago, but I knew that I wasn't. I knew that there was something wrong and was surprised that he picked up on it even though we hadn't seen each other in a while, but I didn't feel like I was withdrawing. Now I realize that I was just constantly tired.

So yeah...a lot needs to change when I get back to NY.

Thank you to brother, though, who made his diagnosis in front of mother, uncle, and uncle's wife, each of whom has different treatments for anemia ranging from eating brain to taking long, hot baths (don't ask...)
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 7:39 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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