free stats Carmen's Web: Shattered dreams
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Shattered dreams

Although I have always enjoyed watching soccer games, I've never really been loyal to one particular team. I've watched about six World Cups so far my entire life and have always enjoyed the international-ness of the whole production. The last time I was loyal to any one team was back in 1990 when Egypt was playing (this is before I sought a divorce from Egypt).

I was devoted to the Brazilians in this World Cup. I was torn in the beginning, not sure who was going to get my loyalty. After the Italy debacle (I still don't want to talk about it) I started veering towards Brazil until I became a real, hardcore fan. I wanted them to win, I NEEDED them to win.

And so now, for the first time in my life, I actually know what it feels to have your heart shattered when your team loses. When my ex-fiance's team lost in a very important soccer match in Egypt years ago, he literally stopped talking to me for hours. I had never seen him in a bad mood before and thought his attitude was ridiculous. I left him alone, however, regardless of how stupid I thought he was being.

And now here we are. My bad mood from earlier has now been exacerbated and I feel empty inside. Mama never told me there'd be days like this. *sigh*
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 4:34 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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