free stats Carmen's Web: Vacation withdrawal
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Vacation withdrawal
I think I'm going through vacation withdrawal. I've never experienced this before. I've always loved going on vacations, but was always somewhat ready to return home and get my shit done. This time I want to throw everything away and just move somewhere and start a new life. And I swear if I hadn't gotten this job, I would've done just that.

Was speaking with Toots earlier and he told me I should forget about the job, pack up, and just go. And if I were a little more impulsive and a little younger I might just have done that. For the first time in my life I'm ready to make dramatic changes and for the VERY FIRST time I'm actually tied down. I've worked really hard to get to where I am right now, really, really hard, and I can't see myself just throwing all that away because of wanderlust.

I've decided, though, that if I don't get married within the next three years I'm going to pack up my bags and move to Athens for a while. I'm not being overly dramatic or laying down ultimatums, but if marriage doesn't seem to be in the cards and I have no one to be responsible for I'd rather move away. Three years will give me enough time to become professionally certified and have enough experience to be able to command some authority in my field. After that, anything goes.

Toots was telling me that one of the major differences between our lives now and our lives three or four years ago is that NOW we're actually doing something that'll build up our careers, whereas before we were just tramps frolicking in the streets. We KNOW now that the work we're doing now will lead to something, it's not merely a waste of time anymore. Three years ago whatever it was that I was doing (can't even remember what right now) meant nothing and didn't really lead to anything. Now I'm tied down to work that's actually going to improve my future, so I guess all I can do now is just be patient and enjoy the fact that for the first time in my life I've got my shit together.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 12:55 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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