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Saturday, September 30, 2006
Ramadan updates
I must have broken my fast thirty-seven times this past week. One really shouldn't be driving during this month. I become nasty, especially when people do stupid things (i.e. drive too slow, cross to slow, are too slow). I have a potty mouth, which is something I'm trying to work on, and know when to use it.

I don't think I'm going to last at my job. The kids are assholes (10:55am and I've already broken fast) and I have a horrible time at work. I spend the day trying to train them to become adults ("take your bookbags off, no calling each other stupid, don't slam that book into the desk, look at me when I'm talking, wake up, pay attention"). Uff. It's exhausting.

I spent ten minutes on Monday sitting on my desk, refusing to start teaching until every single last student took their bookbags off. One kid resisted for the ten minutes and probably thought I was going to start teaching anyway, but I held my ground. He took it off.

Tuesday was spent kicking the kids out of class (they entered like hyenas) and forcing them to enter it like civilized human beings.

Wednesday was a fire drill where I had to explain that a straight line means standing behind each other like civilized human beings.

Thursday was a four minute lecture on how distracting it is for a teacher to teach when students lay their heads on the desk, slouch in their chairs, and yawn like hippos. I had to explain the importance of sleep, breakfast, and sitting up straight.

By Friday I was crazed and fed up and spent the entire day losing my patience. "Do not talk to me if I'm speaking to another student, stop calling my name, ask your group leader, be quiet, do your work...." I couldn't take it anymore. I truly was nasty in class. Once I finished I ran out of that school, came home, and took a two hour nap.

I love teaching. I've been doing it for a while now and when I used to talk to people about my job they could seen the joy on my face. People would be jealous that I had a job I relished. I wake up dreading the work day. So I don't think I'm going to last.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 10:58 AM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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