free stats Carmen's Web: It's not easy growing up
Sunday, March 05, 2006
It's not easy growing up
A 14-year-old boy, walking on the promenade by the East River, jumped into the freezing waters two days ago. He took his coat off, said goodbye to his 6-year-old sister, and climbed over the rail into the river while she cried out begging him not to do it. His body was found by divers this afternoon.

I was told of the story by Olorin who couldn't comprehend what kind of despair would lead a 14 year old kid to commit suicide. I couldn't comprehend how it was even possible for Olorin not to know what this kind of despair would feel like. When I was 14 I was so full of pain that I wasn't sure I'd ever survive it. I'm not being overly dramatic here. I'm not talking about unrequited crushes, bad hairdays, or acne ridden skin (I suffered from all of the above). I'm talking about real pain, real struggle. Everyday was a struggle for me. And I (wrongly, apparently) assumed that everyone must have felt the same as they were growing up. I was actually surprised to hear that someone managed to get through his teenage years without ever having felt this type of DESPAIR. I'm always in awe of people like that...people who have never been driven to despair; people who were/are actually HAPPY or at least content in their lives because it has taken me years to get to this point and it's taking a lot of strength to actually maintain it sometimes.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 9:27 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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