free stats Carmen's Web: Santorini Wedding
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Santorini Wedding
When I heard that my friend was getting married, the first emotion I felt was "hate" (the ghetto, slang version). I'm ashamed to even admit this, let alone to have felt it.

I don't experience jealousy often. Actually, it's something I rarely feel because I'm always genuinely happy for other people, especially my friends. I'm fairly content in my life (or so I like to tell myself), albeit the tragic issues I have to deal with every now and then. So when one of my closest friends announces that she's getting married, IN SANTORINI, you'd think I'd be thrilled for her. The thrill came later. The hate came first.

I hated immediately that some people just have it so easy; that they can live the kind of life they want without being encumbered by familial, religious, or traditional obligations. (The issues I have to deal with every now and then...I have a tendency to bury them so I don't have to look at them, but once they rear their ugly heads they're REALLY ugly).

So what did I do? I called my friend and wished her the best of luck. Told her how happy I was for her. And as I listened to her story, her struggles to actually get married, the problems she had to go through, I found the hate gradually disappearing. Sad, isn't it? Once I realized that she too was suffering I let go of the jealousy. It's not that I was happy that she was suffering, but I think I was relieved to know that I'm not the only one struggling. I feel REALLY alone in my struggles sometimes. And though I know that I'm not the only one who suffers from problems (I'm not vain enough to think the universe is solely focusing on me), it just seems like I am because no one really wants to talk about these ugly issues. So we all go around and pretend that we're happy, that life is easy.

No more morbidity. Here's a pic of the happy couple. I am GENUINELY happy for them :) (and will shower this happiness on them in Santorini!)

Thoughts shared by Carmen at 10:17 PM
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Who: Carmen

Mini-Bio:
xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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