free stats Carmen's Web: Sick days gone wild
Friday, June 10, 2005
Sick days gone wild
Yesterday was bad. Bad, Bad, BAD, BAAAD, BAAAAD. I woke up in the morning feeling normal. No sickness, no headache. All was good with the world. Towards the afternoon I started getting sick again and threw up during lunch. Susannah saw how sick I was and took me to a pharmacy to get something for my stomach. The pharmacist gave me something for the nausea and told me not to each anything for 24 hours. Eat NOTHING. If I get hungry (IF???) I should eat some bread, nothing else. Susannah sent me home and told me not to come back if I were feeling sick. I was supposed to be teaching today, but thankfully Claire (in my group) is going to substitute for me.

I'm not sure what it was exactly, but it must have been a 24 hour something because I'm feeling a little better now. Then again I haven't had anything to eat other than bread's hard to get sick when you haven't eaten anything.

But yesterday was BAD. My stomach was in total disorder, my head was killing me, and my body was just shaking. My skin was very sensitive and everything hurt. Every little thing hurt. I was honestly ready to pack my bags and go home...I just wanted to be around people who knew me, who wanted to take care of me. I started pitying myself and guess who I ended up calling for parents. I knew that they couldn't do anything for me, but for some reason just wanted to be babied, just wanted to hear concern in someone's voice. My mother, of course, wouldn't stop telling me what to cook, how to cook it, when to cook it, and ordered me to go downstairs and get some lemons to suck on, that they'd relieve the nausea. My father kept telling me to forget about Barcelona and just come home!!! It made me feel better to hear their voices. Funny...the ones I was trying to get away from are the first ones I seek for comfort.

I couldn't seem to compose myself to go out and get a lemon, so I tried to go to bed to make the shakes go away. When they wouldn't I finally got dressed to get a lemon. Went to a small supermarket right in front of my building and bought myself a lemon. ONE lemon. I'm not sure what kind of normal person just buys one lemon, but again, I couldn't think properly. When my brother called me a little later and I told him that I just bought one lemon when I should've bought others to just keep at home he laughed at me and called me a loser. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE SO SICK AND TRY TO KEEP A STRAIGHT HEAD!!!!!

So I sucked on that one lemon till I couldn't do it anymore and you know what happened...I felt MUCH better. My stomach wasn't in such turmoil anymore. Hate to say it, but mom was right. She was right. I still had the chills, my body was still aching, and I continued to pray for a relief that refused to come. Went to sleep early and woke up as if nothing was wrong. No shivers, no pain...I still keep eating only bland food (boiled vegetables, plain bread) but I'm feeling much better.

Finished, I suppose, the first week of this course. I can't wait till it's over. There's just so much to do, so many things to think of re: teaching. Having to work on your lesson plans practically every other day is just so exhausting and regardless of how many times you get up there in front of class, you're still super nervous. I wonder when this feeling will go away, if it ever does.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 9:13 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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