free stats Carmen's Web: Waiting for Eid
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Waiting for Eid
When I was young my parents always kept my brother and I from school every year for the first day of Eid. They wanted to make sure that we actually commemorated that day, that it had a special meaning in our lives. After all, we weren't part of a culture that celebrated this day and they wanted us to feel rewarded for all our hard work during Ramadan. We had few Muslim friends and no Muslim neighbors (I thank God every day that my parents had enough sense never to move to an Arab neighborhood where a mini-Egypt would have been awaiting me everyday) and I know how much they missed the Eid they were used to back home. Keeping us from school was a way for the day to be special in their lives as well.

I haven't taken a day off of work or school for Eid in the past 10 years. Eid comes and goes and is just another day for me. There was no one to celebrate with at one point, so there was never any reason to take the day off. My brother was off in Boston, my father never took the day off, and my mother never woke up before noon. It didn't seem worth it to take the day off and go off celebrating by yourself.

I miss celebrating. I miss having people to celebrate with. I miss wearing new clothes and having a nice big, special breakfast.

And this is why I'm hoping that Eid is tomorrow. It's a Sunday, which means I wouldn't have to take the day off work, and Toots and I said we'd go play paint ball (where I will shoot his ass down) and race cars at a big boys arcade in Long Island. We'd have a big breakfast , wear new clothes, and enjoy the day.

But, knowing my luck, Eid will probably be on Monday and so our plans will be shot. Sigh.

Regardless of when Eid is, I'm more than ready for it. This Ramadan hasn't been difficult. I think in the entire month I may have gotten three or four headaches and managed to survive pretty well through the rest of it. Which is a huge accomplishment considering the fact that as a teacher I talk a lot. And have recently been yelling a lot.

I'm ready for Eid because although the food hasn't been a problem, my potty mouth has. I've been yelling and cursing at people every single day I'm behind the wheel of my car. I break my fast within the first hour that I'm awake. It's horrible. I've tried controlling myself, but people are awful drivers in the mornings.

I have also been losing my patience much, much quicker recently. I'm not sure whether it's because of the lack of food nourishing my brain or because dealing with teenagers is a job meant for prison wardens. I've become "hard" at work and this hardness has seeped its way into life outside the school.

Anyway, whenever Eid is have a happy one for those of you who are celebrating!
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 11:02 AM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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