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Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Sick days
Felt absolutely horrible today. Towards the afternoon, about an hour before I started teaching, I developed a really, really bad headache. Haven't had a bad one like this in a long while. It was worse than a migraine and wouldn't stop pounding against my head and against my eyes.

I didn't know that I'd be able to teach, but I managed to go through with it. I honestly don't know how I did my lesson. Was teaching adjectives and ended up underestimating the students. I was 100% sure that they were going to have a tough time with the grammar rules (adjectives go first in English vs adjectives go second in Spanish). I was ready to spend at least ten minutes reviewing the rules, and realized within two minutes that they knew exactly what they were doing, were able to form sentences properly, and I was left in the dust. While I was teaching, up there in front of the class, the headache subsided a little. I knew it was there because my head felt sore, but the pounding was taking a rest. Regardless, I couldn't think on my feet and the lesson went south quickly. I managed to get the students working on some activities, but it was definitely a bad lesson. And embarrassing!!! I wore my brown tunic today...thought it was nice and appropriate for class. I completely forgot how HOT you get when you get up there to teach...the sweat seeping from your pores. The room can be cold, but the minute you get up there you're sweating up a storm. And there I was, in the middle of the room, underwarm sweat exposing my discomfort :(

After I finished teaching I just sat down and the headache came back with a vengeance. Couldn't keep my eyes open, couldn't keep my head from spinning. During the break I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up. My stomach felt a little better when I did that, but I went back to the class and still felt bad. Susannah saw that I wasn't feeling well and sent me home.

Got home, took an Excedrin, and tried to sleep off the headache. I woke up about an hour later feeling much better and returned to school for an observation and here I am now.

I don't know why I felt like that today. I'm almost positive it can't be something I ate. It can't just be that. I haven't been eating properly since I've gotten here, for many reasons. For one, it's really hard to find a restaurant that you actually want to eat in and then it's really hard to find something to eat when you have no time to eat. I run around trying to finish my work and can only eat something quickly, so I've been living on sandwiches and cereal since I've been here. I know I should start eating properly, especially since I changed my diet for the better since the beginning of this year. My body is going to be very unhappy with me soon.

My body and my senses have taken such a strong pounding since I've gotten here. First it was the emotional overload Toots was talking about, and then it was a severe physical attack to something. I know I WAS nervous about teaching, but I can't believe that stress could've given me a beating like that.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 7:12 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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