free stats Carmen's Web: In the Eye of the Hurricane
Monday, June 06, 2005
In the Eye of the Hurricane
I've been finding myself using a lot of gestures when I talk to anyone now. It's almost a hazard of the trade. When you teach elementary leveled English students you have to speak really slow and use gestures in order for them to understand you.

Taught my first real class today...45 minutes teaching "jobs". I was so nervous before I went up. I wasn't nervous all weekend, not even this morning, but right before I went on I was shitting bricks. You know that feeling when your chest tightens up, the butterflies begin to flutter, and your body temperature rises even when the room is cold. I felt like I was going into battle. I started class with only four people in it, which made it even more uncomfortable. I battled through it, though, and think I did a pretty good job. Students kept coming in till there were at least eight, and I had them laughing and playing games. I'm not sure I can explain how I felt AS I was teaching. I know I was nervous because I was still very hot, but once I came out of it I could not remember ONE SINGLE THING I did in that 45 minutes. It was like being in the eye of the hurricane and just being relieved that you came out of it. You remember how hard/difficult it must have been in there, but you're proud that you managed to survive and come out fairly unscathed. Phew!

What makes this course stressful is that you always have to be on your feet. There's constant thinking, constant activity. We get two classes in the morning re: methodology where we have to work in pairs/groups to get the lesson done. You're never put on the spot in front of the whole class, which is a plus for me, but there's always constant activity. You come out of each lesson breathing a sigh of relief.

I can relax a little today because I'm not teaching tomorrow and have no lesson plans to complete. It would be useful to probably go through what we did today in class, but I'm just so tired and have such an awful headache. I want to be able to take it easy as well...tomorrow is going to be another tough day. This week I'll be teaching on Wed and Friday, so the rest of the week is going to be hectic.

I spoke with Angels today, an intern from my previous job. I had no idea she was in former co-worker (once she realized I was eating at McDemon's out of desperation) sent me Angels' contact info. It was really, really nice to speak to her...she was so excited that I'm here in Barcelona and was SOOOOOOO friendly. We're having dinner together on Wed, so that's something to look forward to.

My parents called me was really, really nice to hear their voice. My father said that he heard that I was having a tough time and told me that I should just pack my bags and head home :) The man never wants me to struggle. While it may get annoying sometimes, it’s just really, really nice to have someone who’d turn the world upside down just to make sure you’re not in pain. Still a pretty good security blanket to have. Don’t use it often, but it’s still good to know that I have it.
Thoughts shared by Carmen at 9:12 PM
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Who: Carmen

xx-something egyptia-yorker who's spent over half her life stuck in two worlds not of her own making. unable and unwilling to fully embrace one identity over the other, she created (is trying to create) her own place in the world where people love each other unconditionally, irrespective of artificial boundaries, and where dancing merengue is as necessary to life as breathing air.

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