I hated Halloween when I was growing up. I thought it was a pointless holiday that people took advantage of to be and act stupid. And it was never fun for me.

For starters, my mother always dressed me in these "ethnic" costumes. Ethnic costumes, as interpreted by my mother, were anything that covered your body from head to toe, no skin showing, and incredibly loose. One year I wore a galabeya two sizes larger than me, another year she put me in a gypsy outfit which I was actually looking forward to until I saw what she was attempting to put me in. The sad thing is that she really thought I looked good. She used to work so hard trying to put an outfit together just to make me happy. I never had the heart to tell her that I thought I looked like an ass.

You gotta give her credit for trying to adopt this whole Halloween thing though. Why would a woman who just moved from Egypt even care to take her kids from door to door to solicit candy from strangers?

I always wanted to wear something fun for Halloween. Was never able to until last year when I dressed up as a cop...now THAT was a Halloween outfit! I had a lot of fun arresting people that day!

Halloween was also awful because scary movies terrified me. I could not sleep for weeks after I watched Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time. I couldn't even go to the bathroom. I'd always force my poor brother to stand guard outside the bathroom door, which I would never close. I was unable to be alone for even a millisecond. That movie did me in and as a result I never watched the other "classic" horror flicks. I was in my 20s before I saw The Omen or even bothered to meet with Jason or Michael Myers (was that his name??) It's silly, yes, but Freddy Krueger ruined my life.

To this day I cannot watch a scary movie by myself. And God HELP the person sitting with me watching these movies. They will be beaten and abused because Carmen likes to hit people when she's scared. Once, when I was watching The Ring with my ex, I dug my nails so deep into his palm that he nearly bled. And I was never able to see what the "ghost" looked like in that movie; when they were about to show her face, I hid my face in his chest. Yes. I'm a baby.

Number one reason why Halloween sucks? The eggs and shaving cream that teenagers are so fond of. When I was in high school half the school would take the day off. They were terrified of getting egged and they had good reason to. The hooligans were out in full force on that day. My mother would never allow me to take the day off, so I used to have to maneuver my way to school. Thankfully, I never got hit. This evening on my way to the gym I passed by the grocery store and saw this sign.

When I went to high school, eggs and shaving cream were the worst that could happen to us. Nowadays Halloween is the day when the highest amount of crimes happen and I worry for my kids. While my high schoolers are little devils, they're harmless for the most part. I worry for them from the other local high schools, one of which is the worst school in New York City. Let's just hope tomorrow comes and goes without hell breaking loose.